Christmas Day!

Well I think the look on Conor's face when he's sitting on Aaron's lap sums it all up. He received (from his mom) a onesie that reads, "Poop is my business. Business is good." You may recognize some of the gifts from baby showers and such in the picture I call "Loot;" I figured I could re-wrap them and give them to the boy again for Christmas and he wouldn't know the difference (Sh! Don't tell him!) It is this creative thriftiness that enables me to stay at home and work for no pay but endless benefits!

We match!

Both mom and baby have footed pajamas! You know you love it!

Photo outakes

As promised, here are a few of the photos that were just not quite right for this year's Christmas photo...

And the winner is...

It took 90 photos to get this one we chose for Christmas cards-Aaron nearly killed me! We tried to get ourselves and Haley in the shot with a timer and funny hats and it was just too much! Stay tuned for outakes of the photos that almost made it and ones that might get us in trouble with Social Services for trying to dress up and pose a child this young!

Ten Weeks Old

Nine Weeks Old

Isn't tongue rolling genetic?

What makes it all worth it...

While none of the books I've read list this as a significant milestone, I am convinced it is. Today, my son laughed and smiled at his own farts for 10 minutes. He is indeed, becoming a man.

We're getting ready!

Christmas Song

These are the lyrics to my favorite Christmas song:

Montgomery Gentry - Merry Christmas From The Family lyrics

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
At our Christmas party
We were drinkin' champagne punch
And homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn't know what to think of him
Til he sang Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins
From his second wife Mary Nell
Of course he brought his new wife Kaye
Who talks all about AA
Chain smokin' while the stereo plays
Noel, Noel, The first Noel

Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Mix Margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
We need some ice and an extension cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of pampers , some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motor home in
They blew our christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited out on our front lawn
He threw the breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night
Oh Silent Night o' holy night

Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on
Mix Bloody Marys cause we all want one
Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprite
A box of midol, some Salem Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

...and after!

Before...

One of Aaron's co-workers' wives was due a month before I was, (all in all there were five police babies born in less than 4 weeks) so here are the before and after shots. My shirt reads, "Does this baby make me look fat?"

More tales

I suppose you expected me to post a picture of the baby dressed as a turkey for Thanksgiving? Maybe next year!

A few strange things I've noticed...Target is advertising a large, remote controlled tarantula as a toy for Christmas-what the heck? This is the stuff nightmares are made of. Carnation is making hot chocolate with added caffeine, as much as a cup of coffee-I thought cocoa was supposed to be soothing.

Three new mom mistakes I've made this week: pulled the stroller and didn't set the brake, picked up the car seat, turned around to see the stroller rolling through the parking lot, thank goodness the baby wasn't in it!. Put a new hat on Conor while he was in his car seat, drove for 15 minutes, went to get him out and saw the hat had slipped all the way down his face and was under his chin. I was sure he'd suffocated and died. Thankfully it was breathable. But my favorite was when I was trying to hold him and eat lunch at the same time. I looked down and noticed pizza crust in his hair and thought that was funny, until he looked up at me with a piece of POTATO CHIP STUCK TO HIS EYEBALL! I was sure he'd go blind because of me. How are you supposed to get that off? I sat frozen, not knowing what to do, I think he eventually blinked it out. The only thing that makes me feel any better is Aaron's obsession with cleaning the cheese (dead skin?) out of the child's armpits.

I'm King of the World!

And still...

My "You Might Be a Redneck" calendar had the following recently: You might be a redneck if...you're familiar with Copenhagen but have never heard of Denmark." Hilarious!

Conor turned 7 weeks this past Sunday. He is so close to being able to get his thumb in his mouth. Today he stuck his entire fist in there several times. Of course, he also punches himself in the face and head several times a day with failed attempts. I've also noticed that if he's sleeping on my shoulder and he startles he's now strong enough to push off with his feet and launch himself straight away from my body to test my catching reflexes-sneaky bugger!

There's a lot they don't tell you about breastfeeding either. You have this idea that your child is going to recognize you, gaze at you adoringly, smile up at you (he is just starting to actually smile we think, although he has had man like gas from the very beginning, so it could be that!) but when my son gets near me he starts hooting, breathing heavily, and making "O" shapes with his mouth as if he might actually starve. Touching, really. I'm also not sure what to make of it when he flails, cries, screams, grunts, punches, smacks, slaps, kicks at my armpits, breasts, whatever during nursing, but it has earned him the nickname, "grabbytits." Today he tweaked my nipple so hard I screamed. How can a child with no coordination or clear vision have that kind of accuracy? Of course this same child pecks at Aaron's chest like a chicken when he is hungry as well, so maybe he's just a lucky shot. And yet, sometimes he will caress or point at the breast he is not nursing on as if to say, "You, you're next!"

Skeptical? Quizzical? You Decide!

On Dad During a Rainstorm-yikes!

Got Milk?

What they don't tell you

So I got Aaron a plaque for being a new Dad. It reads "I love you more today than yesterday. Yesterday you really pissed me off." He decided he would buy his own new Dad gift, Call of Duty IV for x-box.

One new experience no one mentioned was doing laundry at 4 am. I mean, hey, we're up anyway, and most everything's got urine or vomit on it (and that's just from me!)

When my mom was here the first week after Conor was born, she asked us if we were going to give him a "diddy bop." We weren't sure if this was some old fashioned way to describe breastfeeding, but it turns out she meant a pacifier. After calling it that for awhile, we're now referring to it as "P. Diddy."

If we sign cards Suellen, Aaron and Conor our initials will spell, "Sac." That's funny. More fitting however, is adding Haley, or Hill, so that we get "CASH."

They don't mention it in the books for new parents. but the same hormone that causes you to go to bed at 11 pm must be the one that causes you to start religiously watching "Wheel of Fortune" and "Jeopardy."

Aaron and I've decided that I'm suffering from "postpardum aggression since I'm tired, irritable, and cranky. Although, really, I was like that prepardum too. And if we're really honest, I was like that pre-pregnancy too!

Going Out

The Thinker