Boobs!

Wow, time sure flies when you're sleep deprived...but we really can't complain. Conor was sleeping 11 pm to 8 am by two months and is now going from 10 pm to 9 am. It is actually true that babies reach a point where you can just keep putting them to bed earlier and they'll just sleep more and more. And when he's awake, he's often quite content to sit in my lap and watch the box with lights (tv)!

The headlines have been especially wacky recently: "A Swedish bomb squad called out to disarm a suspicious package on Wednesday did not find a ticking bomb. But they did find a vibrating sex toy." And legislation here in VA: "Drive in Virginia with outsized rubber replica testicles dangling from your trailer hitch and face a fine...male genitalia swaying from a car distracts other drivers."

They tell you when breastfeeding to alternate which breast you begin and end with. My mom visited again after Christmas. When I was nursing one afternoon she noticed the rectangularly shaped burp cloth I had thrown over my shoulder kept falling off. A few hours later that same evening, as I was nursing again (au natural, i.e. topless), Mom came in, looked at my revised setup of pillows, towels, different burp cloth etc. and commented, "Well that IS a good sized one that hangs down just right." I was mortified and turned beet red, sputtering, "Mom, you don't get to comment on my breasts!" She laughed so hard she nearly peed her pants and finally exclaimed, "I was talking about the burp cloth!"

More new mom mistakes: today I backed the Mini out of the garage and forgot I'd removed the stroller from the back of the truck and laid it behind the Mini. Thankfully there was melting snow on the driveway, so the stroller just slid down and out of the way before I could drive over it. They shouldn't let sleep deprived people drive!

This week Conor's been learning to take naps at regular intervals in his crib instead of any and everywhere else whenever he felt like it (he's gotten too alert and easily distracted for this now) so I put him in the nursery and turned the space heater on, thinking he'd probably only sleep 45 minutes but hoping he'd sleep an hour and a half. Two hours later I called Aaron a little alarmed at how long he was sleeping. I finally couldn't stand it any longer after 3 hours, so I went up to check him and when I opened the door I was greeted by a tropical surprise-the room was 79 degrees (about 20 degrees celsius)! I thought for sure the poor child would be completely dehydrated, but he actually was sleeping very deeply!

This week he also accomplished grabbing both hanging rings on his travel swing and gripping them for dear life while he was swinging. But that's not all, he also used them to pull on while he passed man sized gas and had a giant blowout in his diaper! His face turned red-I so badly wished someone else had been here to see it!

Did you know, that baby's breath (at least my breastfed baby's), like the flower of the same name, smells sweet? Why then do my baby's armpits smell like cheese? Why, when I kiss him, does he open his mouth really wide-is he French? And why when I try to get sock lint off his feet does he curl his monkey toes in a vice like grip? The child also spits up, lets it begin to drool out of his mouth, then at the last minute, sucks it back up!

One morning I laid him down on my bed next to a pillow I sleep with my arms around, so I was not surprised when he turned to it and began stroking it because I figured it probably smelled like me (and to be brutally honest, probably smelled like his favorite parts of me if you get my drift!) I was not, however, expecting him to close his eyes and attempt to nurse from the pillow! Here I thought he loved me, and it turns out any old breast scented pillow will do!